Self Acceptance is about accepting yourself entirely, just as you are at the moment. For most of us this is not as simple as it ought to be. We have been taught that we must attain certain things or be certain things, and that we should not feel satisfied with who we are until we have done so.
In reality we are NEVER finished as there will hopefully always be more to learn and new ways to grow. So when, exactly, are we supposed to feel good about ourselves?
Popular culture would have you believe that all you will need to feel good about yourself is the correct car, or the ideal clothes, or the ideal beer. In reality a lot of our civilization’s self-esteem issues are intentionally created by the media and the companies that advertise there. How frequently have you seen an advertisement and thought»I really have to upgrade my design», or»I actually need a new car»? Do you really? Hey, maybe sometimes we do. I need to admit that my habit of wearing sweatpants, t-shirts and sandals would not go over well when creating advertising sales calls for your magazine or videos, and I do in actuality, really need a fantastic car.
As usual the question in our society is’how much can we really need’? As an example, I do not need Armani suits to sell advertisements for a holistic journal, and I will get by very well with a reliable old car.
The distinction here is that the word’need’ versus the word’desire’. We are taught that we’want’ certain things to feel good about ourselves, and that is the crucial issue. I do not care if you buy a new Mercedes 3 times a week if that is what you need to do and you are able to afford it. But if you feel as if you’want’ to buy or do anything so as to feel good about yourself then that is a problem that has to be addressed.
Self Acceptance is all about FREEDOM. It is the freedom to be happy with who you are and not be a slave to the’needs’ that we are taught to think in. It is the freedom to look at yourself in the mirror and enjoy and accept the person that you see looking back along with the freedom to be pleased to be on your own skin.
True self acceptance is one of those transformational moments in our lives. It doesn’t indicate there aren’t things you want to change, or have new instructions you want to grow. It simply means that you have accepted yourself, with all your warts and ugly spots, and you can now begin moving in the positive instructions required for your life.
It is also the key to having the liberty to accept others just as they are. The most important person which you could love is yourself. Have you ever seen someone who gives up their whole lives to help others, nevertheless destroy their own health and welfare in the procedure? Everything is One and connected, meaning that anything which you can see, feel or imagine is a part of you , with all the balances apply.
For example, someone who only deals with himself, with no respect for others, is not any less imbalanced than someone who devotes his whole life to look after others at the expense of himself. The key here, once more, is the term NEED. It is all about the motivation that drives them.
A number of those so intent on’self-sacrifice’ are driven by’need’. They will need to help others to compensate for their own inadequacies, or to compensate for the terrible things they believe they’ve done, or whatever other motives drive them. However if they truly accepted themselves then would they feel the need to’sacrifice’ themselves in order to assist others? Wouldn’t they see helping others as an extension of helping themselves, rather than as a means to make themselves feel better about who they are?
A balanced individual sees helping others as a standard, compassionate thing to do, rather than as something to do to compensate for their own lack in some area. It is the Law of Reciprocity again, by helping others we help ourselves, by encouraging others to grow we also develop in the procedure. By accepting ourselves just as we are, we can even accept others just as they are, and that is the start of unity.